Wedding customs in Ethiopia

Wedding customs in Ethiopia vary among the diverse tribes of that country and are among the most important expressions of each tribe's culture.

Mareko tribe

The “Mareko” tribe has its own different traditional ways of accomplishing things. Wedding customs are among these traditions. Girls get married from 15-17 and boys 16–20. This tribe has different types and ways of wedding, “Tewaja” meaning arranged wedding, “Alulima” accidental wedding,”Shokokanecho” is where the man goes to the girls house with his friends and take her using force. “Gusno” is wedding by abduction while “Herima” is by fooling her were a third person middles in and tells the girl a lot of good things about the man until she agrees, it is a mind game by the third person played on the girl. “Abagadima” is when the bride goes to the house of the man she wants to marry and tell his family that she has fallen in love with him and. The groom's family will then accept her and the wedding is held. “Meinbetoma” is when the wife dies and if the man is thought to be a good person he will then be given his wife's sister so as she can make him forget his wife and takes care of him and his children. According to the written documents found in this tribe, “Tewaja” or arranged wedding is related to the religious ceremony of that tribe. First, the groom tells his friends to tell his family which girl he wants to marry. If his families agree then he starts the preparation. Firs thing in the morning his friends will go to the bride's house putting all their swords outside and get inside the house without asking for anyone's permission and sit there for a while and then go out without saying a word. This action keeps going for three days. But they are not allowed to go to her house on Friday's and Wednesday's because these days are symbolized as unlucky days.

On the first day to the bride's house the groom's friends are to pay attention to everything they see on their way. If they see a bird named “Tarailae” passing on their left side or a girl who carries a pot full of water, it is believed that the wedding will be blessed. But if they see “Tarailae” passing on their right side or a girl who carries an empty pot and most of all if they see the bride cleaning her house then it is believed that it is not God's will and so the preparation stops immediately. If his friends are lucky and she is the right fit for him then they say to her families “we have come here to be your sons and ask you to be our parents as we have seen and as you have witnessed the bird has given us your daughter so we ask you to give us your daughter too”. The person who has been asked will then tell the bride's mother. The bride's mother will discuss this issue with her husband and give an answer after days. If both the mother and the father agree then the groom's friends will kiss the mother's shoulder (a way of showing respect and honor). The next step will be all the neighbors and families of the bride meeting on a big tree shed and decide whether she should marry this family or not after several investigations of what kind of a person the groom is. If all decide and agree that she should get married then the elderly people are sent to the bride's uncle house. Since the uncle understands that they came because of the respect they have for him he will say, “If her mother, her father and the bird gave you the permission then I will also give you my permission.” After this, a date is set and the married will be held.

Bena tribe

Bena is part of the southern tribe and tribality of Ethiopia. There are different types of wedding in this tribe and pre-required customs. According to the norm of this culture, before a man's life partner is chosen for him he is supposed to jump a row of oxen. Earlier before this situation happens the man will tell all his families that he is ready to jump these oxen. As so his families will prepare a huge celebration. If he completes his challenge successfully he thighs his waist with a nail using a leather. This nail is a necklace given for his bride letter on. After this ceremony the preparation of finding the right fit for him starts. Once he completes his four round of jumping the row of ox he only eats meat, honey and drinks only milk for three consecutive months until he find the right life partner. If there was a girl chosen by his family before he jumped, elderly's are sent to the girl's house. The man also looks for his life partner out of his clan. If he finds her, he uses force to make her eat any kind of cereal that is found around them. If this happens it is thought that she has become his bride and she is no longer anyone's but his. If the girl who ate the cereal is a child then she is allowed to stay with her family until she is 15 or 20. After that he might send elderly's to her family or take her forcefully. Accordingly, the first wife of a man who completed his challenge of jumping the row of ox is called “bignarow”. If he wants to get married again due to different circumstances then he is not expected to jump anymore, there is a jewelry women's wear to show that they are ready to be married as a second wife.

The other type of wedding is called “baskin”. This wedding is where the younger brother takes full control over his older brother's wife when he dies. If her dead husband does not have a younger brother then one person from their clan is going to marry her. If a man in this clan has a lot of money and has high economical status he is then allowed to marry 10 girls with one go. The next step now is giving gifts to the bride's family “telosh”. Depending on the type of wedding the amount of the “telosh” increases, the groom might even pay until the third generation for her family. If he married her by abduction then the amount of the “telosh” to be paid increases. Finally the wedding is held in a huge ceremony.

Dasenech tribe

Dasenech is one of the 16 tribes found in the southern omo. Mainly there are 4 types of wedding customs inside this tribe. Darch is a kind of wedding ceremony happens when the boy's family asks properly to the girl's family to marry their son. If the boy is afraid of asking he will send his best friend at night to her family as a messenger. The messenger should have coffee bean on his hand when he goes to her house. Then the messenger should put the coffee bean inside on kind of bowl called Nono. Without being seen by her family and he goes back to his house. The girl's family, at any time when they see the coffee bean inside their Nono, since they didn't see who put it they would secretly search the person in their community. After the find the boy's family they would prepare the coffee bean and invite them to their house to drink coffee together. While they were drinking coffee the girl's family will ask if the boy have enough cattle, goats and sheep as a dowry. If they have enough, then her family would agree for the wedding. At first her family would order the boy's family to bring 4 goats. Then the goats will be slaughtered and the front leg of each goat will be given to the messenger. Afterwards her family would ask additional 10 cattle to be given. Finally, the boy would take his wife.

Seriti the second type of wedding mostly practiced in southern tribe and tribalities. This kind of wedding happens when the girl does not agree to marry or due to lack of money of the boy's family in order to pay for dowry. Therefore, if the boy's family does not meet these criteria or if she doesn't agree he will abduct her. Finally, the case will be handled by the elders and come up with a solution. Ayod is the type of wedding where the elder man of the house is married. At some point in time if he dies but if his wife is still alive, then his younger brother will marry her. Egutunais where the man who wants to marry the girl brings a lot of cattle to the girl's family and takes the girl to his house and marry her.

Kafficho tribe

Kafficho is one of SNNPR region. In this culture the wedding age for girls is starting from 18 and for boys it is starting from 20. Initially if the groom and bride's father make agreement to the wedding, the groom will send elders to the bride family regarding to know her feeling. Most of the time the girl will tell her feeling to her mother. If their response is “no” the answer will send by the messenger. But if their answer is ‘yes’ they will start get ready to the wedding ceremony. On the day of the wedding the groom and the best man start to make sound from horn of elephant which is called “shameto” to show they are arriving at the bride's house. When the Bride, groom and the best man arrive at bride's home they will rotate those three javelin and they will sit. After months the girl family will call the best man and the best man will stay there for days. The amount of dowry will decide based on the groom wealth, power, appellation and family tree. In this culture when the girl is pregnant and if her time to give birth is near she will go to her mother in law house in order to get more protection and care.

Tsemay tribe

Of all the traditions and customs Tsemay tribe has, the different types of wedding are the typical identities of this tribe. There are about five different types of Weddings. These include wedding done by the agreement between the families (“Haliko Egael”), by the agreement of the weds (“Wawaki Bais”), abduction wedding(“Midi”), Inheritance wedding(“Shano”) and replacement wedding(“Sagarte”). The arranged wedding first starts by the man choosing the best candidate to be his wife. After he selected he tells his family and elder mediators are sent to the girl's house. The elders after talking with her father and agree to give the dowry leave the house and go back. The one who decides how much of a dowry the groom's family has to give is the bride's father. The dowry may also include cattle, sheep and goat. Honey, coffee and butter are also advisable to bring. On the wedding day unlike the other cultures in Ethiopia the man isn't supposed to go to her house to take her to his house instead the bride's brothers and relatives have to take her to the groom's house. After eating the food and enjoying all the preparations made by the groom's family for a day, the relatives of the bride go back to their houses. If not invited by the bride's relatives the families have no chance of meeting each other.

The second wedding type is agreement by the couple. Families specially the bride's is not asked for a permission to marry. After the woman has entered the man's house, the family of the man sends elder people to say “Your daughter is with us.” In the community in spite of the wedding type, it is a must to pay the dowry. If not paid, the wedding will not continue and the families might fight with each other. Abduction wedding is performed without the knowing of the girl by kidnapping her by force. If a man is married this way, since it is believed that he disgraced the girl's family pride his punishment is severe. Inheritance wedding is done when a husband dies for the husband not to carry the burden of raising children alone, her sister a close relative is chosen from her families and given to the husband as replacement.

Other than the wedding types listed above there is another occasionally happening wedding which is known as loan wedding (‘Yedubegabicha”). This is done when the boy has no satisfying income to pay for the dowry. He asks their permission by promising to pay up by working and give labor service to her family. In accordance the agreement he needs to work going to her family every day and finish paying for the dairy by working overtime if the husband dies without finishing the money, it continues to his children and they are supposed to pay. Since every person has the interest in having many kids having more than one wedding is fine.

Ayda tribe

Wedding customs in the “Ayda” tribe is one of the tribe found in the southern tribe and tribalities and peoples of Ethiopia. It is manly found in the southern “Gofa” woreda around 12 kebeles there are four types of wedding accustomed in the tribe. These are by the agreement of families, the couple also abduction and inheritance. If both parties have agreed the man tries to attract his bride by dancing a dance named “wonde" which is alone by circling her. If the girl agrees he gives her a ring or if he doesn't have one he puts on wet grass on her finger. Starting his own house and collect money to be used after wedding. His father gives him a bit of land. After finishing these preparations, elders are sent to her house. Her families set a date for their engagement and at last the wedding also proceeds. To test the efficiency/density of the wedding they kill a goat by a stick named “girawa”. The intestine is checked by the elders. If the “gethu” is not attractive the wedding is broken and she returns to her family's house. If the wedding succeeds but she doesn't give birth to a child the dowry is returned. Without being given some money, they separate and she has to return to her house. If they have given birth the man is not yet acknowledged as a gather. In the tradition if the child delivery day is approaching a separate building behind their house is built and she stays for six months after giving birth.

References

• Neqiatebeb, Dagmay (2007). ADDIS 1879. Addis Ababa: Far East Trading.